Laughing, Yawning and Vomiting are Contagious

Today, a really funny thing happened to me and I couldn’t stop laughing. The guy on the phone, who unintentionally made me laugh, laughed along with me completely unaware that I was laughing at him.

Because I thought what he said was so funny, after I hung up on him, I called my husband. But I was in such hysterics, he couldn’t understand a word I said, yet he also laughed a good hearty one just listening to me convulse.

Other human actions are contagious as well. And I don’t know about you, but I’d so prefer to be laughing then yawning or vomiting. Yawning is one thing. Yeah it’s a drag to yawn. Even thinking about it makes me yawn, but vomiting, that’s a whole other story. Yuk. I can’t be anywhere near it. I can’t hear it, see it or God forbid, smell it. Cookies tossed every time.

So you want to know what was so funny? I’ll tell you, but you probably won’t think it’s so funny now.

I went out for Indian food for the first time this weekend. And while I liked it a lot and look forward to eating it again, the whole Indian experience has me amused. I think it’s about the accent. The native Indian, speaking English, has such a thick accent, I always have to ask multiple times for whatever is being said to be repeated. I speak Spanish, studied French and a bit of Hebrew. I have a good ear for languages, but Indian, can’t do.

Now throw in the fact that every dreaded long-distance telemarketer that calls my house is from India. And it’s pretty well known that we hate those calls, so they pretend to be American. Not just Salmon with an indigenous name who could be an Indian-American, but Bob. And this cracks me up. Whenever I get the call, it’s usually over a bad phone line too. So as soon as I hear static, I’m ready. At first I say excuse me I didn’t understand a word you just said. They repeat it. I still don’t get it, so I ask them to say that again, a little less tolerantly, as in “What?” And they repeat something like this – think Indian accent – “Aaljdakldkldasklfasdklf Bill alkdjlakwdfdlkdf…”

Today, during the day, I got one of those calls. And it threw me, because it wasn’t at night, but in the middle of my work day. It sounded like this: Static on the line, gibberish in Indian-English and then “my name is Bernie.”

I felt the laugh coming before it started. You know the one that comes on fast, starting from really deep inside your belly. The one that takes you by surprise and then takes over your entire body along with all of your sense and faculties. Well that’s what happened. I couldn’t believe my ears so instead of saying “What?” I said incredulously “Your. Name. Is. Bernie? And lost it.

If you’re not laughing now, I guess you really had to be there…but hey it’s 7 p.m and the phone is ringing. Maybe Bernie’s calling you too.