Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Enjoy the Journey
"After a time, you may find that 'having' is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as 'wanting.' It is not logical, but it is often true."-- Mr. Spock, Star Trek. In other words, take pleasure in the process.
Happy Independence Day
I have a crush on the Founding Fathers. Not because of their physical appearance in any way and not that I know all that much about any one of them in particular, but as a group they turn me on. They excite me because they fell in love with an idea and fervently fought for that idea willingly giving up their lives and livelihood so that it would become a reality. That level of commitment is enormously sexy.
If I haven’t said it enough in the past, I’ll say it again. That’s why I love the Navy SEALs. They never give up. No matter the odds. They give it 100 percent every time. Leave it all on the field. “To the last cartridge.” “All rounds expended.”
I’ve received this post every year on July 4th and thought this year, I’d share it.
Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?
Five were imprisoned by the British as traitors and tortured before they died.
Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.
Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.
Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.
They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.
What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.
Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay,and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.
Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.
Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.
Some of us take these liberties for granted, but we shouldn't. So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.
Remember: freedom is never free! It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games.
If I haven’t said it enough in the past, I’ll say it again. That’s why I love the Navy SEALs. They never give up. No matter the odds. They give it 100 percent every time. Leave it all on the field. “To the last cartridge.” “All rounds expended.”
I’ve received this post every year on July 4th and thought this year, I’d share it.
Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?
Five were imprisoned by the British as traitors and tortured before they died.
Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.
Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.
Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.
They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.
What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.
Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay,and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.
Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.
Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.
Some of us take these liberties for granted, but we shouldn't. So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.
Remember: freedom is never free! It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Tenacity
"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward." Amelia Earhart
So I'm wondering, how much of my princess shtick is 'cause I don't get my way and how much is simply tenacity, perseverance or persistence?
Hard to tell. When I'm done stomping my foot, maybe I'll come to me.
So I'm wondering, how much of my princess shtick is 'cause I don't get my way and how much is simply tenacity, perseverance or persistence?
Hard to tell. When I'm done stomping my foot, maybe I'll come to me.
Monday, June 15, 2009
“I’m the princess. Who the hell are you?”
I think I’ve written about this before, but since it came up again recently, I thought what the hell…variations on a theme.
My former in-laws gave me a license plate cover that said “I’m the princess. Who the hell are you?” I thought it was funny and still do. Though being among the only five Jews they’d ever met, let alone the only one they let into their family, I don’t think they’re qualified to judge exactly what makes a princess. So…
While I see myself as atypical when it comes to Jewish American Princesses, I definitely have some princess qualities that come out every now and again. I even think it’s more of an entitlement thing than a princess thing. I mean, I’m not high maintenance, well unless you count being well read, traveled, gourmet and enjoy good liquor. Otherwise I’m pretty common.
I wear very little makeup, if any, unless I absolutely have to. I live in my Birkenstocks, though they are the Mephisto kind. I like nice clothes, currently I have a thing for Burberry, but shop rarely. And yes, well, when it comes to diamonds, I admit to having a bit of a penchant.
But I drink beer – Mich Ultra actually – and eat chicken wings. I have been known to enter a Denny’s on occasion and know where my local Walmart is though never go. However, I also can tell the difference between Dom Perignon and Cristal Champagne in a blind tasting. Adore Beluga Caviar with blinis and crème fraiche. My vodka’s Stoli and my scotch is single malt – so far my favorite is Balvenie, aged in sherry casks.
I do have a cleaning lady, who also irons, but she only comes every other week. I wash my own car and cook at least three nights a week, even though I prefer to eat out and be served.
The reason I bring this up is because the princess appeared last week, not only in real life, but in my general correspondence and I was so called on it. So much so, I asked if the recipient could hear my foot stomp in defiance. But what’s significant is that yes, I was having a princess moment. It wasn’t pretty, but it was genuine…and after all these years of being a grown-up, I have to admit, I thought that tenacity was pretty impressive.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Technology: Friend or Foe?
I am very frustrated with technology lately.
I correspond with people all day, mostly by computer. Sometimes it takes minutes for a response. Other times, hours and even days. Sometimes it takes forever because a response never comes. This frustrates the hell out of me. If I took the time to engage you, fucking reply. Even if it’s “can’t talk now.”
But more than the lack of replies that make me crazy, I have become increasingly more desperate to have real conversations; live and in person, sitting next to or across from a human. A conversation, one-on-one with hands flying for emphasis, eyebrows moving in understanding involved in the simple exchange of thoughts, ideas, opinions and comments. I want to read facial expressions, hear someone laugh or smile, note their body language, smell their perfume, cologne or soap, tap their arm for effect, and gain further understanding from the look in their eyes. I want the courtesy of being responsive in real time and the challenge of having to think on my feet. No email. No texting. No chat. I want to speak with my mouth and not my fingertips. WTF!
I crave, to the degree of an addict in the throes of withdrawal, in-person, face-to-face human interaction that engages all of my senses. And yet I know that without the impersonal technology that I abhor at the moment, I have no way of even meeting that need. And despite the fact that I revel in my alone time, am my own best audience and ultimately keep my own counsel, right now I feel a complete lack of interrelatedness and technology sucks.
Oh, look at the time! Dinner. At a restaurant. With people. Halle-fucking-lujah.
I correspond with people all day, mostly by computer. Sometimes it takes minutes for a response. Other times, hours and even days. Sometimes it takes forever because a response never comes. This frustrates the hell out of me. If I took the time to engage you, fucking reply. Even if it’s “can’t talk now.”
But more than the lack of replies that make me crazy, I have become increasingly more desperate to have real conversations; live and in person, sitting next to or across from a human. A conversation, one-on-one with hands flying for emphasis, eyebrows moving in understanding involved in the simple exchange of thoughts, ideas, opinions and comments. I want to read facial expressions, hear someone laugh or smile, note their body language, smell their perfume, cologne or soap, tap their arm for effect, and gain further understanding from the look in their eyes. I want the courtesy of being responsive in real time and the challenge of having to think on my feet. No email. No texting. No chat. I want to speak with my mouth and not my fingertips. WTF!
I crave, to the degree of an addict in the throes of withdrawal, in-person, face-to-face human interaction that engages all of my senses. And yet I know that without the impersonal technology that I abhor at the moment, I have no way of even meeting that need. And despite the fact that I revel in my alone time, am my own best audience and ultimately keep my own counsel, right now I feel a complete lack of interrelatedness and technology sucks.
Oh, look at the time! Dinner. At a restaurant. With people. Halle-fucking-lujah.
Dominance & Submission
I’ve been exploring the nuances of dominant and submissive behavior for my book SEAL Master. As usual with my books, both characters, hero and heroine, are strong-willed people, successful in their careers, but who lack the same level of skill and success in their love life.
In order to rectify the fact that she dominates every man who’s passed through her life, the heroine decides she’s just too powerful for most men and, in an effort to become “more female,” meaning docile and passive, she seeks to give up control by becoming a submissive. But truly, it’s just not in her. She writes her own erotic storylines…of being submissive, directs the sexy “play,” and even attempts to orchestrate every session. She’s just too competent and accomplished at being in control.
When she meets the hero, a Navy SEAL, who true to his Alpha status, dominates everyone who crosses his path at will, she finally begins to think it just might be possible to get her wish. As he begins to impose his will upon her, she realizes two things: while she desperately wants to be taken, to give up control and get out of her head, no one can take away her power unless she decides to give it away.
As they jockey for position, alternatingly giving and taking in a sexy romance, ultimately they find that although they go about it differently, they’re both formidable humans, equal and perfect for each other.
Given this theme, I’ve been doing a lot of research, both online, in books and in real life interviewing real people. What I found I thought was both fascinating and revealing not only about how to write the characters, but about me. I don’t remember where I found these. I think it was a Psychology Today blog. I apologize for not attributing it correctly, but here it is.
“In the context of a balanced relationship, submissive is not subservient. Intelligent women understand the overwhelming power of their natural instincts and that the most effective way of expressing these instincts is to give herself and those around her pleasure.”
“If submissive fantasies reflect a passionate exchange with a powerful, resource-holding and attentive suitor, then through him the dominant woman could reinforce her high standing in a group and her favorable opinion of herself.”
So basically, once again, it’s all about me. Amazing, how often that happens.
In order to rectify the fact that she dominates every man who’s passed through her life, the heroine decides she’s just too powerful for most men and, in an effort to become “more female,” meaning docile and passive, she seeks to give up control by becoming a submissive. But truly, it’s just not in her. She writes her own erotic storylines…of being submissive, directs the sexy “play,” and even attempts to orchestrate every session. She’s just too competent and accomplished at being in control.
When she meets the hero, a Navy SEAL, who true to his Alpha status, dominates everyone who crosses his path at will, she finally begins to think it just might be possible to get her wish. As he begins to impose his will upon her, she realizes two things: while she desperately wants to be taken, to give up control and get out of her head, no one can take away her power unless she decides to give it away.
As they jockey for position, alternatingly giving and taking in a sexy romance, ultimately they find that although they go about it differently, they’re both formidable humans, equal and perfect for each other.
Given this theme, I’ve been doing a lot of research, both online, in books and in real life interviewing real people. What I found I thought was both fascinating and revealing not only about how to write the characters, but about me. I don’t remember where I found these. I think it was a Psychology Today blog. I apologize for not attributing it correctly, but here it is.
“In the context of a balanced relationship, submissive is not subservient. Intelligent women understand the overwhelming power of their natural instincts and that the most effective way of expressing these instincts is to give herself and those around her pleasure.”
“If submissive fantasies reflect a passionate exchange with a powerful, resource-holding and attentive suitor, then through him the dominant woman could reinforce her high standing in a group and her favorable opinion of herself.”
So basically, once again, it’s all about me. Amazing, how often that happens.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
"I like that about me."
There's a line in Something's Gotta Give, the brilliantly written movie by Nancy Meyers, that I totally identify with.
Keanu Reeves' character Julian Mercer says: The woman is really very brilliant, but she cannot hold her liquor.
Diane Keaton as Erica Barry replies: I like that about me.
Then both men (Mercer and Jack Nicholson as Harry Sanborn) reply: Me too.
I always walk a fine line between saying what I'm thinking and not saying it. Most of the time what I have to add is funny, and I say it. Occasionally it's inappropriate for the company. I know this, usually, and say it anyway. I like that about me. But unlike Barry's beaux, I'm not sure my beau does.
He said "What I love about you is what I also hate about you." Been thinking about it ever since.
Keanu Reeves' character Julian Mercer says: The woman is really very brilliant, but she cannot hold her liquor.
Diane Keaton as Erica Barry replies: I like that about me.
Then both men (Mercer and Jack Nicholson as Harry Sanborn) reply: Me too.
I always walk a fine line between saying what I'm thinking and not saying it. Most of the time what I have to add is funny, and I say it. Occasionally it's inappropriate for the company. I know this, usually, and say it anyway. I like that about me. But unlike Barry's beaux, I'm not sure my beau does.
He said "What I love about you is what I also hate about you." Been thinking about it ever since.
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