Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT.........When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, mothers, grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Upekkha
Upekkha, the practice of loving kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity, acknowledges that most of life is beyond our control.
It’s a karmic flowering of causes and conditions larger than ourselves.
We all churn through a full range of human experience: pain and pleasure, praise and blame, gain and loss.
Let go of attachment to things begin a certain way for ourselves and others, even as paradoxically, we continue to strive for the best.
Upkkha is a spacious stillness of the mind, a radiant calm that allows us to be present fully with all the different changing experience that constitute our world and our lives.
It’s a karmic flowering of causes and conditions larger than ourselves.
We all churn through a full range of human experience: pain and pleasure, praise and blame, gain and loss.
Let go of attachment to things begin a certain way for ourselves and others, even as paradoxically, we continue to strive for the best.
Upkkha is a spacious stillness of the mind, a radiant calm that allows us to be present fully with all the different changing experience that constitute our world and our lives.
Routines
The last 24 hours have been eye-opening. When change occurs it not only affects the one seeking it, but all the interrelated people involved with that one person, seeking alternatives. That’s why change is so hard to accomplish. Sometimes there are so many people involved, just trying to get from point A to point B can be arduous and feel like you’re pushing a slow-moving train.
What’s interesting to me about my last 24 hours is the result. We came full circle - only better, tighter, closer. Grievances were aired, feelings acknowledged and validated, pain averted, pleasure experienced.
While reviewing what transpired, what stands out in my mind, is just how fast routines develop and how after they’ve developed they sort of become habits that can be hard to break, but then once broken, simply turn into memories. Some habits or routines, despite the pleasure they provide, like the typical vices, are good to let go of and those memories are easy to erase. Other habits like talking to a friend who is no longer there are harder to let go of. Tears may be shed and time may be needed to aid in the repair. Sometimes new habits need to be created to replace the old ones so progress can be made.
But we’re all human and resiliency is one of the characteristics we possess that allow us to adapt to new environments or situations and continue on. Some need help and seek faith, others a crutch. Me? I’m just stubborn. I’ll just grit my teeth and bear it. Think and then envision my way through it. The years have taught me self assuredness via the unmitigated knowledge that no matter happens, the sun will come up tomorrow and life goes on. Whatever sucks today, will look different in the light of another day. This is what works for me.
What’s interesting to me about my last 24 hours is the result. We came full circle - only better, tighter, closer. Grievances were aired, feelings acknowledged and validated, pain averted, pleasure experienced.
While reviewing what transpired, what stands out in my mind, is just how fast routines develop and how after they’ve developed they sort of become habits that can be hard to break, but then once broken, simply turn into memories. Some habits or routines, despite the pleasure they provide, like the typical vices, are good to let go of and those memories are easy to erase. Other habits like talking to a friend who is no longer there are harder to let go of. Tears may be shed and time may be needed to aid in the repair. Sometimes new habits need to be created to replace the old ones so progress can be made.
But we’re all human and resiliency is one of the characteristics we possess that allow us to adapt to new environments or situations and continue on. Some need help and seek faith, others a crutch. Me? I’m just stubborn. I’ll just grit my teeth and bear it. Think and then envision my way through it. The years have taught me self assuredness via the unmitigated knowledge that no matter happens, the sun will come up tomorrow and life goes on. Whatever sucks today, will look different in the light of another day. This is what works for me.
Philosophy
As a human being, you have no choice about the fact that you need a philosophy. Your only choice is whether you define your philosophy by a conscious, rational, disciplined process of thought and scrupulously logical deliberation - or let your subconscious accumulate a junk heap of unwarranted conclusions, false generalizations, undefined contradictions, undigested slogans, unidentified wishes, doubts and fears, thrown together by chance, but integrated by your subconscious into a kind of mongrel philosophy and fused into a single, solid weight: self-doubt, like a ball and chain in the place where your mind's wings should have grown." Ayn Rand, 1982
I received this quote arbitrarily a few days ago while I was reading and digesting some materials and thought it was pertinent.
Life gives us so much self-responsibility. We can choose to think our own thoughts, make our own philosophy, live our own life the way we choose or we can simply follow the flock and wonder when it’s all over what it was we were doing.
While I find this introspection sometimes daunting, I find it equally liberating simply to have to ponder the questions.
I received this quote arbitrarily a few days ago while I was reading and digesting some materials and thought it was pertinent.
Life gives us so much self-responsibility. We can choose to think our own thoughts, make our own philosophy, live our own life the way we choose or we can simply follow the flock and wonder when it’s all over what it was we were doing.
While I find this introspection sometimes daunting, I find it equally liberating simply to have to ponder the questions.
Misery Loves Company
My son told me the other day that he thinks I enjoy other people’s misery. No, I told him, that’s not true, but what he was referring to was that I believe in the saying misery loves company, which brings me to today’s blog.
That saying can be used either way. That someone who’s miserable can bring the rest of those around him or her down to be miserable so that s/he is not alone or that s/he who is miserable can take solace in someone else’s misery so as not to feel isolated. The latter is where I’m coming from. Though for me, it’s humor not solace that I give and get.
For instance if a friend calls me up and tells me something bad happened to her, my retort is to the tell her something bad that happened to me. We laugh and it’s over. We’re both miserable, but because we shared and laughed about it, we can move on and not let it get us down.
I call marriage the misery club. Now I know there are happy marriages. I don’t know any personally, but I know they exist. I’m married, multiple times. Obviously I know from where I speak. There are a host of reasons my marriages failed, mainly centered around me and my oddities or lack thereof. But, regardless, I find this topic incredible fodder and enjoy delving into to every chance I get.
As far as marriage and misery are concerned, I used to think the grass is always greener on the other side, but the truth is you never know what goes on behind closed doors. (Had enough aphorisms?) I used to look at other people’s marriages and think how idyllic or how awful. Sometimes I could see why they worked. Other times I’d wonder how could she stay with him after he did fill in the blank? Or think God, what does he see in her? She must have a golden mutzia. (That’s a very bad phonetic spelling of a Yiddish word for vagina as told to me by an old Aunt who has since passed away and can’t verify if it’s even a real word.) But as I’ve gotten older, I realize it’s all about what we’re willing to tolerate and what we put as the priorities. If one’s relationship is primary, then that person forgives and overlooks a lot as the need arises. If one’s need is financial, then s/he cow tows to the breadwinner. If it’s sex or beauty that’s important, then s/he works out, eats well, gets hair plugs or a boob job.
How does this all relate to writing romance novels? I find other people’s eccentricities comforting. Interesting, fascinating and comforting. I thrive on knowing that someone would only eat a sandwich if it’s cut diagonally. That the only way they drink root beer is lukewarm. That a falafel is mealy. That pink pumps turn you on. That toothpaste left dried around your mouth makes you dry heave.
It’s what I use to create characters. The more absurdities, oddities, fetishes, the better.
That saying can be used either way. That someone who’s miserable can bring the rest of those around him or her down to be miserable so that s/he is not alone or that s/he who is miserable can take solace in someone else’s misery so as not to feel isolated. The latter is where I’m coming from. Though for me, it’s humor not solace that I give and get.
For instance if a friend calls me up and tells me something bad happened to her, my retort is to the tell her something bad that happened to me. We laugh and it’s over. We’re both miserable, but because we shared and laughed about it, we can move on and not let it get us down.
I call marriage the misery club. Now I know there are happy marriages. I don’t know any personally, but I know they exist. I’m married, multiple times. Obviously I know from where I speak. There are a host of reasons my marriages failed, mainly centered around me and my oddities or lack thereof. But, regardless, I find this topic incredible fodder and enjoy delving into to every chance I get.
As far as marriage and misery are concerned, I used to think the grass is always greener on the other side, but the truth is you never know what goes on behind closed doors. (Had enough aphorisms?) I used to look at other people’s marriages and think how idyllic or how awful. Sometimes I could see why they worked. Other times I’d wonder how could she stay with him after he did fill in the blank? Or think God, what does he see in her? She must have a golden mutzia. (That’s a very bad phonetic spelling of a Yiddish word for vagina as told to me by an old Aunt who has since passed away and can’t verify if it’s even a real word.) But as I’ve gotten older, I realize it’s all about what we’re willing to tolerate and what we put as the priorities. If one’s relationship is primary, then that person forgives and overlooks a lot as the need arises. If one’s need is financial, then s/he cow tows to the breadwinner. If it’s sex or beauty that’s important, then s/he works out, eats well, gets hair plugs or a boob job.
How does this all relate to writing romance novels? I find other people’s eccentricities comforting. Interesting, fascinating and comforting. I thrive on knowing that someone would only eat a sandwich if it’s cut diagonally. That the only way they drink root beer is lukewarm. That a falafel is mealy. That pink pumps turn you on. That toothpaste left dried around your mouth makes you dry heave.
It’s what I use to create characters. The more absurdities, oddities, fetishes, the better.
Leap of Faith
This morning I mistakenly shut off the outdoor lights, one of which streams into my living room and illuminates enough of my house that even in the darkest of nights I can see. So there I was left to navigate through my house in the pitch black as if I were suddenly blind.
I could have turned on the lights again, but I was going upstairs and figured why bother, save the electricity and do my small part to save the planet.
What I was left with then, was to take a leap of faith. Walk up the stairs by feel (with a glass of juice in one hand and a cup of decaf in the other) running my arms against the railing and my feet feeling for each step before the landing. Once at the top I had to find my way to my office. I knew in front of me was a giant low train table that if I plowed into would hurt, so cautiously I stepped toward it bumped instead of plowed into and slid on by, making it injury free to write this.
And I realized life is a journey that sometimes requires a leap of faith.
I could have turned on the lights again, but I was going upstairs and figured why bother, save the electricity and do my small part to save the planet.
What I was left with then, was to take a leap of faith. Walk up the stairs by feel (with a glass of juice in one hand and a cup of decaf in the other) running my arms against the railing and my feet feeling for each step before the landing. Once at the top I had to find my way to my office. I knew in front of me was a giant low train table that if I plowed into would hurt, so cautiously I stepped toward it bumped instead of plowed into and slid on by, making it injury free to write this.
And I realized life is a journey that sometimes requires a leap of faith.
Nine Words Women Use
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Mediocrity
As I’ve said before I’m reading Dick Couch’s 2005 book Down Range. In the forward, Richard Danzig, senior fellow at the Center for Naval Analyses and former Secretary of the Navy, makes a point about how the book can be used “as a case study in the motivation, organization, and conduct of operations – operations of any kind.”
He goes on to say that contained in the book are lessons on how to do difficult things. He then wonders why, if the SEALs’ program works so well, can’t that program with its strategies or lessons be used to reform say public education, healthcare and the environment? The answer he believes is because we simply haven’t made them a priority as we have our military. Then he asks: think about what could be accomplished if not only did we care, but cared enough to get things right?
As Glenn Holland (Richard Dreyfuss) says in Mr. Holland’s Opus to Vice Principal Eugene Wolters (William Macy) when the school is forced to cut the music program for lack of funding and vice principal chooses long division over reading and writing, “Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want, Gene. Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about.”
When I began writing A SEAL in Uniform, I decided to begin each of my chapters with lyrics to a song. The songs I chose generally set the mood for the chapters and described what the chapters were about. I did this because my dream, in addition to publishing this book and sexy SEAL series, is to create a soundtrack for it. I want this because I think a soundtrack would draw the reader deeper in to the story and give them more insight into the characters’ world and the emotions they feel. To my knowledge, this has never been done and as a first-time novelist, presenting this idea is daunting.
I recently read Leadership Lessons of the Navy SEALs, a 2003 book by Jeff Cannon and Lieutenant Commander Jon Cannon. In the last chapter of their book, “If you need to scream, you need to practice,” the authors talk about practical applications and how in order to learn to do things that don’t come naturally, we have to first do them and then practice them over and over. But taking that first step is scary, so to allay our fears, we have to accept that we’re going to make mistakes. By accepting that mistakes are part of the process, we can lose the self-consciousness, take action and succeed.
So, here’s my blog today about my fear of trying something new. I’ll end with the last two sentences from the Cannon book.
“Scared? You should be. But that’s just your body’s way of saying it’s alive.
Now go to work.”
He goes on to say that contained in the book are lessons on how to do difficult things. He then wonders why, if the SEALs’ program works so well, can’t that program with its strategies or lessons be used to reform say public education, healthcare and the environment? The answer he believes is because we simply haven’t made them a priority as we have our military. Then he asks: think about what could be accomplished if not only did we care, but cared enough to get things right?
As Glenn Holland (Richard Dreyfuss) says in Mr. Holland’s Opus to Vice Principal Eugene Wolters (William Macy) when the school is forced to cut the music program for lack of funding and vice principal chooses long division over reading and writing, “Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want, Gene. Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about.”
When I began writing A SEAL in Uniform, I decided to begin each of my chapters with lyrics to a song. The songs I chose generally set the mood for the chapters and described what the chapters were about. I did this because my dream, in addition to publishing this book and sexy SEAL series, is to create a soundtrack for it. I want this because I think a soundtrack would draw the reader deeper in to the story and give them more insight into the characters’ world and the emotions they feel. To my knowledge, this has never been done and as a first-time novelist, presenting this idea is daunting.
I recently read Leadership Lessons of the Navy SEALs, a 2003 book by Jeff Cannon and Lieutenant Commander Jon Cannon. In the last chapter of their book, “If you need to scream, you need to practice,” the authors talk about practical applications and how in order to learn to do things that don’t come naturally, we have to first do them and then practice them over and over. But taking that first step is scary, so to allay our fears, we have to accept that we’re going to make mistakes. By accepting that mistakes are part of the process, we can lose the self-consciousness, take action and succeed.
So, here’s my blog today about my fear of trying something new. I’ll end with the last two sentences from the Cannon book.
“Scared? You should be. But that’s just your body’s way of saying it’s alive.
Now go to work.”
Inner Warrior
The Talmud says “A person is responsible for one’s actions whether awake or asleep.” Rabbi Lori Forman translates this to mean that hiding and running from our actions is a natural response whereas taking responsibility is a learned one. She then gives the example that Adam hid his from God after eating of the forbidden tree in the Garden of Eden.
Developing the sensitivity to realize how our actions impact others is a never-ending spiritual practice. Today, reading Dick Couch’s 2005 book Down Range, I came to a chapter on Close Quarter Defense. The author describes this particular technique of skill set (very sexy to have not only a skill but a set of them) as a blend of martial artistry, commando-style fighting and spirituality within the confines of being a warrior. (Come on, that’s hot!) Then he goes on to say that although it’s called a defensive strategy or tactic, it’s actually a more offensive skills set. (Offensive, as in first strike. I hate the rules of engagement that limit a soldier’s abilities to win.) Yes and although I am liberal minded, I do agree with Marcus Luttrell, author of Lone Survivor, in this regard, despite the fact that he throws that liberal label around as if he’s vomiting.
So the bottom line here is what is sexy to me about the SEALs, in particular, and anyone who adheres to a discipline, in general, is that acquiring a particular skill or even better skill set J, is the discipline required to acquire it. It is this part of the component that is spiritual. Using the example of CDQ, the engagement of mind, body and spirit in the projection of force enables the soldier to engage his humanity as he goes about the business of war, conflict or national defense.
Now while I’m talking about spirituality in soldiering, let’s not forget the point of all this is basically to kill with a clear conscious. Not rationalize, but make the smartest choice given the circumstances; hence the name inner warrior (which by the way was created by Duane Dieter). This belief is based upon a warrior always dominating his domain by being internally prepared to project force and having a moral (for lack of a better word) foundation.from which to project power.
I could go on and on about this because I find the contrast fascinating, but the point is that in my quest to create realistic characters for a series of romance novels I’m writing and hope to publish on the Navy SEALs, their lives and loves, I read whatever I can get my hands on. Right now that means Down Range and although it’s a chronicle of the Navy SEALs in the war on terrorism, the characteristics and training of a warrior combine to make our heros.
There’s something so gripping about a man who’s not only physically capable but has a well developed inner spiritual life. That combination of external power and inner consciousness is just so compelling to me. Confidence and integrity have always been sexy characteristics, throw some testosterone and a physical prowess and what else is there to say?
Developing the sensitivity to realize how our actions impact others is a never-ending spiritual practice. Today, reading Dick Couch’s 2005 book Down Range, I came to a chapter on Close Quarter Defense. The author describes this particular technique of skill set (very sexy to have not only a skill but a set of them) as a blend of martial artistry, commando-style fighting and spirituality within the confines of being a warrior. (Come on, that’s hot!) Then he goes on to say that although it’s called a defensive strategy or tactic, it’s actually a more offensive skills set. (Offensive, as in first strike. I hate the rules of engagement that limit a soldier’s abilities to win.) Yes and although I am liberal minded, I do agree with Marcus Luttrell, author of Lone Survivor, in this regard, despite the fact that he throws that liberal label around as if he’s vomiting.
So the bottom line here is what is sexy to me about the SEALs, in particular, and anyone who adheres to a discipline, in general, is that acquiring a particular skill or even better skill set J, is the discipline required to acquire it. It is this part of the component that is spiritual. Using the example of CDQ, the engagement of mind, body and spirit in the projection of force enables the soldier to engage his humanity as he goes about the business of war, conflict or national defense.
Now while I’m talking about spirituality in soldiering, let’s not forget the point of all this is basically to kill with a clear conscious. Not rationalize, but make the smartest choice given the circumstances; hence the name inner warrior (which by the way was created by Duane Dieter). This belief is based upon a warrior always dominating his domain by being internally prepared to project force and having a moral (for lack of a better word) foundation.from which to project power.
I could go on and on about this because I find the contrast fascinating, but the point is that in my quest to create realistic characters for a series of romance novels I’m writing and hope to publish on the Navy SEALs, their lives and loves, I read whatever I can get my hands on. Right now that means Down Range and although it’s a chronicle of the Navy SEALs in the war on terrorism, the characteristics and training of a warrior combine to make our heros.
There’s something so gripping about a man who’s not only physically capable but has a well developed inner spiritual life. That combination of external power and inner consciousness is just so compelling to me. Confidence and integrity have always been sexy characteristics, throw some testosterone and a physical prowess and what else is there to say?
Dharmic Mission
I do yoga. I’d like to say my practice is daily, but it’s more like bi- to tri-weekly. However, I do read Yoga Journal and get a weekly yoga newsletter that I at the very least review quickly.
Today’s newsletter asked me what is my dharmic mission or righteous duty and provided three questions to prod my thinking. I have been doing this a lot lately, thinking about where I am, what I want and how to get where I want to go, so this was exceptionally apropos and I decided to share the three questions here.
1) How do you make use of your passions and talents to fulfill the highest expression of yourself?2) If you had all the time, money, and energy you wanted, what would you do?3) If you had no fear of failure, what would you do?
Today’s newsletter asked me what is my dharmic mission or righteous duty and provided three questions to prod my thinking. I have been doing this a lot lately, thinking about where I am, what I want and how to get where I want to go, so this was exceptionally apropos and I decided to share the three questions here.
1) How do you make use of your passions and talents to fulfill the highest expression of yourself?2) If you had all the time, money, and energy you wanted, what would you do?3) If you had no fear of failure, what would you do?
Friends
I’ve made some new friends lately. It’s been as my little one says, accidentally on purpose. And as opposed to relatives with whom you get stuck, these friends I have hand picked. What’s great about my new friends is that first and foremost, I respect them. I honor their simple presence and accomplishments, something I hadn’t thought of or had to experience before. I do this because, while our meeting was somewhat by chance, it was framed with a specific intent and only those who I could potentially respect replied.
Secondly, as you’re supposed to do with friends in general, I enjoy them. They’re fascinating people. Fearless, imaginative, smart and far surpass my minimum requirement for friendship by being ridiculously funny. I’m so enraptured with them I find myself smiling at the most obscure times just remembering something intuitive or particularly sage that was said.
Finally I’m grateful for my friends. I tend to walk this walk often, thanking God (call s/he/it whatever you want) for all my blessings even the ones disguised as curses so I can learn from them, on a daily basis. I don’t go hog wild with this. It’s just a brief nod to the heavens saying thanks. And as is the case for my family, I pray for the continued health and safety of my friends.
I have had a life without them. And no matter how long our friendship lasts or how far along the journey we travel, I feel incredibly lucky to have had the chance to get to know them at all, be a part of their life as they have become a part of mine. .
Secondly, as you’re supposed to do with friends in general, I enjoy them. They’re fascinating people. Fearless, imaginative, smart and far surpass my minimum requirement for friendship by being ridiculously funny. I’m so enraptured with them I find myself smiling at the most obscure times just remembering something intuitive or particularly sage that was said.
Finally I’m grateful for my friends. I tend to walk this walk often, thanking God (call s/he/it whatever you want) for all my blessings even the ones disguised as curses so I can learn from them, on a daily basis. I don’t go hog wild with this. It’s just a brief nod to the heavens saying thanks. And as is the case for my family, I pray for the continued health and safety of my friends.
I have had a life without them. And no matter how long our friendship lasts or how far along the journey we travel, I feel incredibly lucky to have had the chance to get to know them at all, be a part of their life as they have become a part of mine. .
Good Karma
1. Take into account that great love & great achievements involve great risks.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s: *Respect for self
*Respect for others
*Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life, so when you get older & think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s: *Respect for self
*Respect for others
*Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life, so when you get older & think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Every morning I get a quote from yourinspiration@famous-quotes-quotations.com and today’s was “Always do what you are afraid to do.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.
But my question is how far do you take doing what you’re afraid to do?
Years ago I read some popular self-help guru and she said something along the lines of feel the fear but do it anyway. Her analogy (from this someone may remind me of who she is) was that every year she takes a vacation with her husband alone away from her kids and feels terribly guilty about it. But she does it anyway because she knows she’d resent them if she denied herself this time and really enjoys being with them when she returns after having a chance to recharge.
I’ve held on to this nugget, probably because it fits my personality and lifestyle. I’m pretty fearless. Not skydiving fearless, but when it comes to taking charge of my life and getting from point A to B. I’m confident, direct and probably considered opinionated. When I know what I want I go for it and generally get it, simply because I don’t take “no” for answer. If someone gets in my way, I simply go around them.
So, I wrote a romance novel, something I previously would have dismissed as ridiculous, but it called me. The story I had to tell (there are at least two more coming) was semi-autobiographical, meaning the heroine is thinner and way more fit, younger and prettier than me. She meets a hot, hard-bodied Navy SEAL (why settle for anything but the best) on the beach, (of all places) who, is younger and not only falls madly in love with her nearly at first sight (of course), but loves her kid, sweeps her off her feet and relentlessly pursues her to marry.
Who’s dreaming now? Well, yes. Actually, I’ve dreamt this in various forms over several years and finally put all the pieces together to write a 300-page novel. I fought the fear that came with exposing my inner self (literally – there’s lots of descriptive sex) and wrote it in the first person no less.
I definitely feel the fear. Yet I still do it anyway. In those moments, rationalization is probably my best friend. So back to the beginning. How far do you go when you’re afraid? Me, I’m choosing to be fearless. trudging on, boldly. I’ve decided I want the big payoff and to get that I have to risk. I’ve always wanted to write a book. Now I have. My new goal is to get it published, which will happen one way or another because I’m willing to live in this scary place to get it done or go down in big, brightly colored 5,000-degree flames if it doesn’t.
In conclusion: Emerson believed. So do I. "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."
But my question is how far do you take doing what you’re afraid to do?
Years ago I read some popular self-help guru and she said something along the lines of feel the fear but do it anyway. Her analogy (from this someone may remind me of who she is) was that every year she takes a vacation with her husband alone away from her kids and feels terribly guilty about it. But she does it anyway because she knows she’d resent them if she denied herself this time and really enjoys being with them when she returns after having a chance to recharge.
I’ve held on to this nugget, probably because it fits my personality and lifestyle. I’m pretty fearless. Not skydiving fearless, but when it comes to taking charge of my life and getting from point A to B. I’m confident, direct and probably considered opinionated. When I know what I want I go for it and generally get it, simply because I don’t take “no” for answer. If someone gets in my way, I simply go around them.
So, I wrote a romance novel, something I previously would have dismissed as ridiculous, but it called me. The story I had to tell (there are at least two more coming) was semi-autobiographical, meaning the heroine is thinner and way more fit, younger and prettier than me. She meets a hot, hard-bodied Navy SEAL (why settle for anything but the best) on the beach, (of all places) who, is younger and not only falls madly in love with her nearly at first sight (of course), but loves her kid, sweeps her off her feet and relentlessly pursues her to marry.
Who’s dreaming now? Well, yes. Actually, I’ve dreamt this in various forms over several years and finally put all the pieces together to write a 300-page novel. I fought the fear that came with exposing my inner self (literally – there’s lots of descriptive sex) and wrote it in the first person no less.
I definitely feel the fear. Yet I still do it anyway. In those moments, rationalization is probably my best friend. So back to the beginning. How far do you go when you’re afraid? Me, I’m choosing to be fearless. trudging on, boldly. I’ve decided I want the big payoff and to get that I have to risk. I’ve always wanted to write a book. Now I have. My new goal is to get it published, which will happen one way or another because I’m willing to live in this scary place to get it done or go down in big, brightly colored 5,000-degree flames if it doesn’t.
In conclusion: Emerson believed. So do I. "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."
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